Training Like Rocky for the Double Deuce

I've been beating up on Wino Pete and other assorted "tough" guys and derelicts in preparation for my trip to Jasper, Missouri, to help out my man Dalton from Road House kick some ass and take some name at the Double Deuce. Now, Dalton's more of a "Zen" guy, whatever the hell that means, but me, well, I like to trow punches and worry about the repercussions later, if at all.

That's just one of the South Philly Rules, my friends. Some things will never change. And Brad Wesley and all his progeny, you damn clones, you better get ready to take a beating, or else!

Training Like Rocky...By Drinking Less!

I decided to take a vow to drink less, in honor of my man, Rocky Balboa. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not doing nothing crazy like giving up the sauce altogether. No, that would be crazy. Instead I'm going to try to drink just to the point of drunkeness, and then only have a drink or two after, instead of just going until I pass out.

Yo, Wino Pete, you maybe could follow this advice, too, ya bum!

So I'm drinking less. Already I feel my hangover's going away!